I'm a fleabit peanut monkey

I remember in junior high how I used to get all psyched for summer right after winter break and listen to "The Boys Are Back In Town" in like a neverending loop.

I had this diary back then even! haha.

And even last year.. winter break was amazing. I'm not even sure why, but it was. Cheesecake and burgers and onion rings and new mp3 players and cactus juice and money and darlings and feeling pretty and orange and sugar and chocolate and lovely things and youuu.. oh, sorry, getting a bit carried away there.

THAT's what I miss. the FUN. The making apple sandwiches and dancing and watching the Flintstones and the Sandlot and going to 4th ave just to be there. I even miss sharing the awkward crap together, like the time those creep-os in that 'garage' band wanted us in and we had to bear my mom's screamin at us all the way to The Grill, and I got mad at him for not ordering me any Cap'N Crunch. I miss it, and I have to say I want it back again.

What happened to the fun we had? Last winter: sharing Johnny Rocket's milkshakes, finding out the truth, playing with KISS perfume [is that stuff still on the market?]. Valentine's Day: skipping class to go to the Blues week presentation, watching Blow-Up, kissing in the rain, hanging out at Magpie's. Summer: oh shit.. dancing, watching End of the Century at 3am, midnight confessions. Just being sure and happy, if only with myself at the time.

The last time we had so much fun was Halloween.. but that kind of felt like a gyp.

I definitely don't want to revert to the stupidity and cloudiness of everything, thinking it was all so perfect, yet at the same time thinking I hadda be someone I'm not, someone that's not Isabella Gloria. I want things to be new and different.. or maybe I just want a new and different 'HIM'!

I just want to have fun again, that's all--I'm 16, going on 17. not 16 going on 60.

And he's the one who says I need to take it easy.. maybe I'M the one who's too immature for him. I admit it: I'm a naive, inexperienced little brat. And I can't fix that until I find myself some ACTION!

aaaactiooonn.... speaks louuudeer than worrrds.
[all I ever get is side-mouth talkin' from youu..]