I'm a fleabit peanut monkey

Is it right to feel this way? Is it right that after over a year, after all we've been through, after everything that's happened, my breath still sometimes leaves and my heart still sometimes beats faster at the thought of him? I can't understand it, and it can't be explained. But what in that whole year could I legitimately explain anyway?

Even after being so high, being put down so low, being lied to, being ashamed of myself for so many reasons, not believing a word he says, all the jealousy--how is it possible that "Softly To Me" still affects me like that?

After that whole year of surreality. it's hard to tell what was true and what wasn't. Maybe he's the only thing that was.

I can't STAND it! AAAAHHHH!

And my darling, you will never know how elegant you'll always be to me..

I promise I'm not so concentratedly cheesy in real life.