I'm a fleabit peanut monkey

For once I don't have to convince myself that I did the right thing, because I know I did. I don't feel that stinging pain, or the cutthroat urge to call or take back what I did. I needed this. I have for a long time. We had outlived the best and were drawing out nothing, with pathetic, feeble attempts at affection. I don't fret over the other girls or the lies or the loneliness; they only validates my decision even more strongly. Whether this is temporary, or whether I'll never feel myself in the warmth of his arms again, I don't know; Either way, I needed this.

I'm not gonna lie: It's hard for me to imagine living the rest of my life without feeling the warmth of his touch again. I don't care what anyone has to say about the 'unconditional' bit of it--I know true love when I feel it.

For now, all I can do is wait and see.