I Gotta Dance To Keep From Crying
I Gotta Dance To Keep From Crying
2008-07-16 // 10:40 a.m.
There's this stupid notion in my head that if I can't be happy unless I revert back to the way I was a year ago. Idiotic, right? But, in part, it's true, considering there's a mental block keeping joy out of my life until I get there. That's the last thing I have to get over. I mean, no, it's not fair what happened to me, but it's my own fault and now I have to deal with the consequences and work hard just like everyone else. No more taking the easy way out. Ugh. It kind of disgusts me, the way I was so ignorant. If only I'd done a little research before I started eating nothing, I'd be safe. But then it all ballooned into this massive problem that engulfed my whole life and all of a sudden I found myself offering teary confessions of emotional abuse to therapists that I couldn't have even dreamed up had I been fully conscious/healthy. Ugh. whatever. Now I've just gotta work with what I've got, not lose an ounce of my overt confidence, be Isabella Gloria, and live my life. And I gotta tell ya, I'm damn good at being Isabella Gloria and living my life. All I can do now is.. the monkey and the mash potato and the twist and the bird and the shake and honestly, I think I'm gonna be alright.
...
anyway.
I'm considering turning this diary into a music blog. Is that lame? I don't wanna get an actual "blog", like from blogspot or anything. That word is kind of intimidating. Maybe I won't though.. I don't really know what I'm talking about and all the information I know about the artists of the 82398627895672356 garage songs on my hard drive, I've gotten from other blogs. Or wikipedia. But I know I dig the music! Isn't that enough? Ehh, I don't want 60-yr-old '60s garage aficionados snooping around the rest of my entries anyway. Unless they're in the Morgan Freeman-Mick Jagger range of sexiness. arrrrgh.
ay chihuahua!