I'm a fleabit peanut monkey

I just want to record what I told him yesterday, because it was pretty well-spoken.

The only times in life I'm ever really eloquent in speech are during heated, passionate arguments. Well, that makes sense.. I mean, talk about motivation!

Last night, after 4 hours of almost straight crying, asking "Why?" and foolishly begging, I decided to tell what I didn't even know was the truth until I said it and thought, "Hey, that's kinda alright!"

He'd been trying to convince me that we could no longer go on because our relationship is a continuous fight. It's true. We fight. A lot. And I think I've discovered why.

I love fighting, I told him. It's exhilirating. It's exciting. It keeps things interesting. It satisfies my thirst for drama in my life. Besides that, I love a challenge. Why would I want to be with someone exactly like me? When I was younger I always thought I'd want to be with someone as overtly confident, outspoken, outgoing, and intellectually hyperactive as I am. Instead, I got something totally different. I'd go so far as to say he's my polar opposite. But we are connected by our music, and that's what brought us together in the first place. And maybe that's the reason we found eachother--to challenge one another. But instead of fighting and crying and sighing, we should be grateful for our differences and embrace them.. and use them to better one another, not worsen ourselves. And isn't that what love is about? [That's my convoluted way of defining it, anyway!]

To which he replied, "I love you." What a cheeseball.